Wednesday, December 8, 2010
My Independence Hurts
Right before lunch one of my little girls came to me holding her stomach and said, "My independence...my independence...my independence hurts". "Your appendix doesn't hurt," I said. She held her stomach and hobbled over to her chair. Soon we lined up for lunch. I never heard of her independence again.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What Else is in Your Pocket?
Ryan. Not sure if he made it to Taco Bell for Thanksgiving, but he was in full swing today. School had been in session roughly 40 minutes and Ryan (who has the AMAZING skill of turning even the tiniest piece of scrap into a masterpiece) had made an entire family of paper dragons on his desk. Even baby dragons. I couldn't take it anymore. I told him to take every scrap out to his book bag so his desk could be clear to work! I checked on him at his locker once and then our our paraprofessional went out to check on him.
When she returned this is what she told me: She asked Ryan if he had put all of the dragons in his locker. "No, do I have to put the baby ones in there too?". "Yes." she told him. As he put the dragons in his locker, he kept one hand in his pocket. "Ryan, what's in your pocekt?" He pulled out another dragon, put it in his locker and promptly shoved his hand back in his pocket. "Ryan, what else is in your pocket?" He pulled out a toy and she told him that needed to go in his locker as well. This went on a few more times until she finally asked, "Ryan what ELSE is in your pocket?" "A cookie he said, pulling out a cookie." She couldn't help but laugh as she told him he needed to throw it away. He informed her he was saving it for later.
Ryan returned to the room. I noticed his hand was still shoved deep in his pocket. "Ryan, what's in your pocket?" I asked. "Nothing." He said. "What's in your hand?" "Nothing, nothing, nothing." He said grinning and waving the hand not in his pocket. "The other hand, Ryan." I said. He pulled it out of his pocket, leaving the treasure behind. Soon another boy came up to me and informed me that Ryan indeed had another cookie in his pocket!
When she returned this is what she told me: She asked Ryan if he had put all of the dragons in his locker. "No, do I have to put the baby ones in there too?". "Yes." she told him. As he put the dragons in his locker, he kept one hand in his pocket. "Ryan, what's in your pocekt?" He pulled out another dragon, put it in his locker and promptly shoved his hand back in his pocket. "Ryan, what else is in your pocket?" He pulled out a toy and she told him that needed to go in his locker as well. This went on a few more times until she finally asked, "Ryan what ELSE is in your pocket?" "A cookie he said, pulling out a cookie." She couldn't help but laugh as she told him he needed to throw it away. He informed her he was saving it for later.
Ryan returned to the room. I noticed his hand was still shoved deep in his pocket. "Ryan, what's in your pocket?" I asked. "Nothing." He said. "What's in your hand?" "Nothing, nothing, nothing." He said grinning and waving the hand not in his pocket. "The other hand, Ryan." I said. He pulled it out of his pocket, leaving the treasure behind. Soon another boy came up to me and informed me that Ryan indeed had another cookie in his pocket!
Just Like the Maple Syrup!
Today was sufficiently rainy and cold. I had recess duty. During the fifteen minutes I had recess duty, one of my little pint sizers managed to slide down the fireman's pole on the playground and land in a giant puddle of muck. She came and found me, hobbling, one shoe on, one shoe off (in 30 degree weather...). I helped her to the door with her little sparkly black shoes and mud caked socks and told her to change into her gym shoes. Just as I got to the door, another one of my kids ran up to me and it was all I could do to keep from laughing...his crotch all the way down to his legs was SOAKED! Common sense doesn't exist in second grade. He had gone down the slide. I asked him if he could wait until we went inside to call his mom or go to the nurse for more pants. "No problem, Miss Marsh, I think the wind will dry me." Right, and help you catch pneumonia.
No sooner had I turned around than kiddo number three approached. He didn't look wet until he turned around....red swishy pants...SOAKED!
Of course we had gym after recess, so amidst getting shoes changed and coats away, I was contacting the nurse to see if emergency pants were in supply. Lucky day for my two boys...a new shipment had just arrived the day before. I wrote them a pass and sent them down to change. Red swishy pants boy loudly proclaimed, "I know what to do! It's just like when I had to change my pants in first grade because of the maple syrup!" I know. I shouldn't have asked, but I did. "Why in the world did you have to change your pants because of maple syrup?" I asked. "Well, when I was puttin' it on my patty it somehow got ALL over me." I can only imagine. My laughter was getting pretty close to hysterical at this point and I sent the boys down to the nurse. Shortly they returned in sweatpants, plastic bags in hand. Sweatpants are funny. They are so bright. I sent them on to gym and watch a set of teal legs and a set of cerulean blue legs scamper down the hallway. Glad they were so experienced. After all, it was just like the maple syrup!
No sooner had I turned around than kiddo number three approached. He didn't look wet until he turned around....red swishy pants...SOAKED!
Of course we had gym after recess, so amidst getting shoes changed and coats away, I was contacting the nurse to see if emergency pants were in supply. Lucky day for my two boys...a new shipment had just arrived the day before. I wrote them a pass and sent them down to change. Red swishy pants boy loudly proclaimed, "I know what to do! It's just like when I had to change my pants in first grade because of the maple syrup!" I know. I shouldn't have asked, but I did. "Why in the world did you have to change your pants because of maple syrup?" I asked. "Well, when I was puttin' it on my patty it somehow got ALL over me." I can only imagine. My laughter was getting pretty close to hysterical at this point and I sent the boys down to the nurse. Shortly they returned in sweatpants, plastic bags in hand. Sweatpants are funny. They are so bright. I sent them on to gym and watch a set of teal legs and a set of cerulean blue legs scamper down the hallway. Glad they were so experienced. After all, it was just like the maple syrup!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Taco Tuesday and the Cake Ball Catastrophe
Teaching second grade is like entering a bit of heaven and performing in a circus all at the same time. It really is glorious. Tuesday in room 521 really left little to be desired. :)
As I collected book orders and checked doctor's notes, one by one, my second graders bounced into the room. "Good morning", I call. "Good mooooorrrrning," they sing back. Then FLEW in taco boy. Let's call him Ryan (real name changed for privacy). Over his head like a banner he was waving a free taco coupon for Taco Bell. "Good Morning, Ryan", I smiled. "MISS MARSH, I GOTTA FREE TACO, I GOTTA FREE TACO, FROM MR. WOLFE FOR HELPIN HIM CARRY STUFF AND IMMA TAKE MY WHOLE FAMILY FOR THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!", yelled Ryan.
Now sweet little Ryan is a little compulsive, so I heard the above story about four times within the course of two minutes. I shared his excitement and then told him he needed to get unpacked before the bell rang. I asked him to put the taco coupon in his bag because I knew he'd be heart broken if he accidently left it at school! Half way through the day, where do you think that little taco treasure was? You got it...hanging out of his desk, ready for easy access to wave in the air and proclaim to the world his Thanksgiving plans of helping everyone to feast at Taco Bell!
Fast forward to the end of the day. Ryan is packing up. Kids are zooming around the room. It was a really beautiful time. We had all shared how we were thankful for one another and I was giving kids their "Thanksgiving" hug as they packed up. Side note: some of my kids MUST be lifting weights. Not only did they about squeeze my organs out, they about carried me out the door! After one such little sweetie attacks me with a hug, I pivot to see Ryan waving the taco banner and inviting his "best friend" (who changes weekly) to get a free taco. Ryan then walks to me and invites me and decides he would like to invite our aide too. I ask him WHEN he plans to go. He says, "The Goshen Taco Bell, you know the one". Right. "Ok, Ryan, maybe I'll just hang out there this holiday and if I see ya, I see ya..." He jumps into the room and promptly hugs his best friend. They both look to me and bat they're eyes to show me just how stinkin cute they are. Ryan has such a good heart. He's a laugh a minute, but he shows me how to do small things with great love (Mother Teresa).
Much later in the evening, after a quite busy day, I decided to keep the momentum up and do my Thanksgiving baking. Ok, I'll just admit it right now. I really struggle to bake. I rarely cook. Annnnd, my time in the kitchen usually results in calamity. I'm just gonna chalk it up to my "big idea, struggle with detail" personality... Anyway, I was pretty excited to make this cute snowball cake I saw at the supermarket. I was hoping to really impress my family at Thanksgiving. I could just hear the "Ooooos and Ahhhhs" and "Wow, Jillian made this? It's the prettiest and BEST snowball cake I've ever eaten". So shoot me, I wanted some verbal praise.
Thank goodness my roomate was home. She knows a lot about cooking. I googled the recipe, knowing I could find it, because the cake was pictured on a Kraft display or something similar at the store. I found a picture of the cake, but the ingredients were strikingly different from what I had bought...
My roommate asked how I knew what to buy to which I responded, "Well, I thought they were really trying to help people like me this season by putting these pictures up on end caps and if you bought everything on the end cap you'd be able to make the dessert." I think her mouth dropped open a little bit here and she started to laugh. I realized the snowball cake was a no-go (Although I still think I could have made it!), so I did what any intuitive chef would do - I googled my ingredients. devil's food cake+coconut+vanilla almond bark. And, to what did my wondering eyes appear, but a recipe for cake balls full of holiday cheer.
I should have stopped while I was ahead, but I decided since I had three cake mixes, I could make three sets of cake balls, and in the meantime I planned to change the name because I really despise the name cake balls. Gross. The white cake balls turned out fine. I got started and I think there was too much crashing and banging going on because before I knew it, my roommate had entered the kitchen saying, "I can't leave you alone in here. I know too much and you know too little." My next step was to make spice cake. I thought it would be a good idea to IMPROVISE (another one of my kitchen mistakes) and add a can of pumpkin to the spice cake. Roomie nixed that right away. Well, I thought the batter was really runny, so while she wasn't looking, I added a combination of vanilla yogurt and powdered pudding that looked alarmlingly like scrambled eggs. My roomie had asked what in the world it was for and I explained that we didn't have milk and I thought if I mixed yogurt it would turn out the same way and I had made it for the original snowball cake. So after I stealthily dropped that little mix into the spice cake, I stuck it in the oven. I'll tell you what, no matter how many times I baked that cake...it wouldn't bake! On my third try, 12 hours later, after letting the dough cool in the fridge, I turned the oven all the way to 500 degrees hoping to burn that stubborn little spice cake to shards! NO LUCK!!! I think the pudding powder was radioactive. Needless to say the whole spice cake was dumped out. No worries, I still had chocolate cake. So, I rolled the little balls and put them in the refrigerater to cool. Not a minute later, I heard, "thud-thud". Crap. Carefully I opened the door of my relic of a refrigerator to find the ban wedged in the broken door. Parts of my refrigerator door were now flaked into my cake balls. Who does that even happen to? Seriously?
So, here we are on Thanksgiving morning, the white cake balls are going solo. We'll see how they do. Oh, and by the way, I'm calling them snowballs in memory of the first dessert...and because I hate the name cake balls.
Happy Thanksgiving, maybe I'll see you at Taco Bell.
jillian
As I collected book orders and checked doctor's notes, one by one, my second graders bounced into the room. "Good morning", I call. "Good mooooorrrrning," they sing back. Then FLEW in taco boy. Let's call him Ryan (real name changed for privacy). Over his head like a banner he was waving a free taco coupon for Taco Bell. "Good Morning, Ryan", I smiled. "MISS MARSH, I GOTTA FREE TACO, I GOTTA FREE TACO, FROM MR. WOLFE FOR HELPIN HIM CARRY STUFF AND IMMA TAKE MY WHOLE FAMILY FOR THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!", yelled Ryan.
Now sweet little Ryan is a little compulsive, so I heard the above story about four times within the course of two minutes. I shared his excitement and then told him he needed to get unpacked before the bell rang. I asked him to put the taco coupon in his bag because I knew he'd be heart broken if he accidently left it at school! Half way through the day, where do you think that little taco treasure was? You got it...hanging out of his desk, ready for easy access to wave in the air and proclaim to the world his Thanksgiving plans of helping everyone to feast at Taco Bell!
Fast forward to the end of the day. Ryan is packing up. Kids are zooming around the room. It was a really beautiful time. We had all shared how we were thankful for one another and I was giving kids their "Thanksgiving" hug as they packed up. Side note: some of my kids MUST be lifting weights. Not only did they about squeeze my organs out, they about carried me out the door! After one such little sweetie attacks me with a hug, I pivot to see Ryan waving the taco banner and inviting his "best friend" (who changes weekly) to get a free taco. Ryan then walks to me and invites me and decides he would like to invite our aide too. I ask him WHEN he plans to go. He says, "The Goshen Taco Bell, you know the one". Right. "Ok, Ryan, maybe I'll just hang out there this holiday and if I see ya, I see ya..." He jumps into the room and promptly hugs his best friend. They both look to me and bat they're eyes to show me just how stinkin cute they are. Ryan has such a good heart. He's a laugh a minute, but he shows me how to do small things with great love (Mother Teresa).
Much later in the evening, after a quite busy day, I decided to keep the momentum up and do my Thanksgiving baking. Ok, I'll just admit it right now. I really struggle to bake. I rarely cook. Annnnd, my time in the kitchen usually results in calamity. I'm just gonna chalk it up to my "big idea, struggle with detail" personality... Anyway, I was pretty excited to make this cute snowball cake I saw at the supermarket. I was hoping to really impress my family at Thanksgiving. I could just hear the "Ooooos and Ahhhhs" and "Wow, Jillian made this? It's the prettiest and BEST snowball cake I've ever eaten". So shoot me, I wanted some verbal praise.
Thank goodness my roomate was home. She knows a lot about cooking. I googled the recipe, knowing I could find it, because the cake was pictured on a Kraft display or something similar at the store. I found a picture of the cake, but the ingredients were strikingly different from what I had bought...
My roommate asked how I knew what to buy to which I responded, "Well, I thought they were really trying to help people like me this season by putting these pictures up on end caps and if you bought everything on the end cap you'd be able to make the dessert." I think her mouth dropped open a little bit here and she started to laugh. I realized the snowball cake was a no-go (Although I still think I could have made it!), so I did what any intuitive chef would do - I googled my ingredients. devil's food cake+coconut+vanilla almond bark. And, to what did my wondering eyes appear, but a recipe for cake balls full of holiday cheer.
I should have stopped while I was ahead, but I decided since I had three cake mixes, I could make three sets of cake balls, and in the meantime I planned to change the name because I really despise the name cake balls. Gross. The white cake balls turned out fine. I got started and I think there was too much crashing and banging going on because before I knew it, my roommate had entered the kitchen saying, "I can't leave you alone in here. I know too much and you know too little." My next step was to make spice cake. I thought it would be a good idea to IMPROVISE (another one of my kitchen mistakes) and add a can of pumpkin to the spice cake. Roomie nixed that right away. Well, I thought the batter was really runny, so while she wasn't looking, I added a combination of vanilla yogurt and powdered pudding that looked alarmlingly like scrambled eggs. My roomie had asked what in the world it was for and I explained that we didn't have milk and I thought if I mixed yogurt it would turn out the same way and I had made it for the original snowball cake. So after I stealthily dropped that little mix into the spice cake, I stuck it in the oven. I'll tell you what, no matter how many times I baked that cake...it wouldn't bake! On my third try, 12 hours later, after letting the dough cool in the fridge, I turned the oven all the way to 500 degrees hoping to burn that stubborn little spice cake to shards! NO LUCK!!! I think the pudding powder was radioactive. Needless to say the whole spice cake was dumped out. No worries, I still had chocolate cake. So, I rolled the little balls and put them in the refrigerater to cool. Not a minute later, I heard, "thud-thud". Crap. Carefully I opened the door of my relic of a refrigerator to find the ban wedged in the broken door. Parts of my refrigerator door were now flaked into my cake balls. Who does that even happen to? Seriously?
So, here we are on Thanksgiving morning, the white cake balls are going solo. We'll see how they do. Oh, and by the way, I'm calling them snowballs in memory of the first dessert...and because I hate the name cake balls.
Happy Thanksgiving, maybe I'll see you at Taco Bell.
jillian
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